


A Little Ghost Antenna: The Ryan Bergara Story

by Apple_tater



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon!Shane, Gen, demon shane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apple_tater/pseuds/Apple_tater
Summary: “Who’s here with me right now?” came Ryan’s shaky voice.Looking at the camera, Shane’s eyes widened as he mockingly said, “The Devil.”-
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Comments: 37
Kudos: 250





	1. The King and Queen

**Author's Note:**

> 'Hey there bois, it's me; ya demon'

“Who’s here with me right now?” came Ryan’s shaky voice. He sounded even more terrified than usual and that was saying something. A gust of wind could send him into a dizzy panic.

Shane smirked at the question. How ironic that he was so scared of what he might encounter in there. Looking at the camera, Shane’s eyes widened as he mockingly said, “The Devil.”

Ryan would watch this back later when he was editing but he would think nothing of that throwaway comment. It gave Shane so much joy to know that nothing could be closer to the truth and yet it would get an eye roll at best.

Ryan continued further into the twisting corridors, jumping at every shadow, heart thumping harder with every step. Every beat pulsed through Shane’s body like a drum beating in his bones. He could smell Ryan’s fear and it was delicious. Pricking up his ears more he heard Ryan having some sort of one-sided conversation, “How many of you are in here with me?”

Some sort of short reply came and then Shane shouted, “Ryan, you gotta walk down that long hallway with all the doors!”

“I’m walkin’ down the hallway,” Ryan called back, “I’m at the end right now!”

“The one when you walk in, immediately to your left,” Shane yelled back, suppressing the urge to laugh.

“All right,” Ryan replied nervously. There was a beat, and then, “Oh! Shit!”

The rush of fear surged through Shane’s body and he trembled with delight, “Yeah! That’s what you have to walk down! Hurry up, you’ve got two minutes.”

Every step he took, Shane felt the terror coming off him in waves. His voice floated down the corridor, “Oh, this is horrible. This is so horrible.”

Ryan persisted with the spirit box, which was probably the only thing about this experience that was bothering Shane. He hated the spirit box with every fibre of his being. It was so stupid and loud, and it didn’t even work! That was the worst part! It was so unnecessary, but there was nothing Shane would be able to say that would convince Ryan of that. He couldn’t exactly reveal how he definitively knew that.

Overall, it was a small price to pay though. The fear that he got from Ryan when they went on these shoots was almost unbearably sweet. Shane was always a bit disappointed when they moved from the supernatural series into the true crime ones. Sure, he loved hearing about the terrible cases, but it didn’t really feed him. He tried not to show his disappointment though, and he must have pulled it off pretty well because Ryan was under the impression that Shane preferred the true crime episodes.

After a short while, the fear started to wane a little and Shane sighed. It seemed that whatever conversation Ryan thought he was having had taken up enough of his attention that he wasn’t as consumed by fear. Out of annoyance more than anything, Shane looked at his watch, “Okay Ryan,” he called, “We’re comin’ up on seven minutes here.”

“Fuck yeah, I am getting out of here,” Ryan muttered, and then raised his voice, “See ya later! Peace!”

As the shorter man came rushing out of the hallway, Shane smiled at him, “How’d it go?” Ryan looked up at him with eyes wide as dinner plates, looking as if he was trying to catch his breath. Shane held up his hands a little in celebration, “You did it!”

Ryan was panting and closing his eyes every now and then, trying to come down from the unwanted high.

Shane laughed a little, “Are you-you seem rattled right now.”

“Yeah, I’m a little rattled,” Ryan snapped, “Because I just spent…an entire seven minutes up there alone as a little ghost antenna just talking to _ghosts_ , and I didn’t enjoy it…and I wanna leave now, so let’s leave,” he said firmly.

“’A little ghost antenna’,” Shane repeated with a smirk, “The Ryan Bergara Story.”

“Shut up,” Ryan replied. His forehead glistened with sweat and his eyes were darting all around him as if he was trying to see every angle all at once. From the slight hunch in his back it was clear that Ryan was all tensed up like he always was when they had been in any of these places for hours and they were tired and hungry and cold.

They made their way back down to the entrance. Ryan shouldered the door open, keen to finally get out. The fear was rapidly subsiding as adrenaline took over. There had been surges of adrenaline the whole time, but with the receding fear the adrenaline was now the strongest thing that Shane could taste. It was still good, but not anywhere close to fear.

Ryan let out a loud huff once they were out in the fresh air. Shane looked back at the building, “Well it’s been real.”

“Pennhurst State School and Hospital,” Ryan started.

“You got…” Shane faltered as he tried to think of a way to finish the sentence but then they both looked at each other.

They spoke over the top of each other in an attempt to finish the sentence.

“Bust…”

“Uns…”

“Solve…” Shane tried. They looked at each other again, “I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Ryan turned away to start walking again.

“We gotta figure that out,” Shane shrugged.

“Yeah, we’ll figure that out,” Ryan echoed. They continued to walk further down the path, “Do you think the place is haunted?”

Predictably, Shane immediately replied with a frank, “No.”

“Why don’t you ask me?” Ryan asked, “What do you think my answer’s gonna be?”

“Ryan,” Shane said, humouring him, “Do you think the place is haunted?”

“You know what?” Ryan said, “Not sure.”

“Oh!” Shane exclaimed in surprise.

“But probably,” Ryan finished.

“Okay,” Shane sighed in faux disappointment as Ryan laughed.

* * *

When they finally got home from the trip, Shane shrugged his bag off his shoulder and dropped it on the couch. He heard footsteps and turned around to see Sara padding barefoot down the hallway, “Oh hey,” she smiled, “I thought you were getting back a bit later.”

“Traffic wasn’t so bad, and we decided not to stop for lunch,” Shane grinned. Wrapping his arms around Sara he pulled her in for a kiss.

“So how was the shoot?” she asked when they had both flopped down on the couch.

“Yeah, good,” Shane nodded, draping an arm over Sara’s shoulders, “Ryan thinks he found some ghosts with the spirit box.”

Sara made an exaggerated retching sound, “That box is awful.”

“Tell me about it,” Shane rolled his eyes, “I have to stand right next to that stupid thing. I wish I could just tell him it’s dumb and doesn’t work.”

“You do tell him that,” Sara pointed out.

“Yeah but he doesn’t believe me,” Shane said, “It just sounds like ol’ skeptical Shane dabbing on his tech.”

Sara looked up at him with a funny look on her face, “Never use the phrase ‘dabbing on’ again.”

Shane laughed, “What? Isn’t it what the kids are saying these days?”

“I’m just going to try to forget you ever said it. I don’t even think you used it right,” Sara replied with a smirk, shifting a little in Shane’s arms. He looked down at her again. He loved making her smile.

“I gotta brush up on my meme lingo,” Shane rubbed his chin as if in thought. They lapsed back into comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Sara shifted to lie against him a bit more. In an amused voice she said, “So he still has no idea about you, huh? Not even a little?”

“Nah, no idea,” Shane mirrored the smile, “I think if he ever found out he might just have a heart attack then and there.”

“It’s just so funny that he’s going on all these trips to find demons and ghosts and stuff,” Sara laughed.

“Yeah I think that every time we go anywhere,” Shane grinned, “I’ve literally told him on several occasions right to his face that I’m a demon and he doesn’t even bat an eye. The idea is so ludicrous to him.”

Shane glanced back down at Sara when she turned to pick up the tv remote and switch it on. If Ryan knew even the smallest detail about the true nature of their relationship he would spontaneously combust, Shane was sure of it. Sure, he knew about their human relationship. He knew how long they had been together and they often went on double dates or hung out all together with other people, but it went much deeper than that. Shane wasn’t just a run-of-the-mill demon; he was the Lord of the Underworld. Sara was his Queen. They had been with each other since the beginning of time and he still could never stand to be without her. He was fine going away on short trips or when she went away, but he could never truly be apart from her. Not in a meaningful way. They were bound to each other.

Shane turned his gaze to the window and let tendrils of inky black reach out from him. A couple three apartments down were having an argument. She was about to break up with him. Shane drank in the anger and sadness. He reached out further. Two blocks away a woman yanked her child out of the way of a passing car. He snatched the burst of fear out of the air before it subsided. Sara looked up at him, “Are you seriously hungry?” she asked, almost in disbelief, “You just spent a few days away with Ryan. That should be enough to last you all week.”

“What can I say?” Shane shrugged, “I’m a growing boy.” Sara just nudged him playfully.

Whenever he reached out like that, it was easier if he used his true sight. His eyes would turn black and it would allow him to see the flow of emotion, the souls surrounding him, and best of all, the true form of his beautiful Queen. His eyes roamed over her. Her delicate facial features belied the ferocious being within. Her blazing red eyes, sharp and unblinking, were framed by thin back lines that curled around and up to her forehead to disappear into her hairline. Her hair was black, utterly devoid of colour, as if you were looking into a black hole from which no light or energy could escape. It fell down her back and cascaded over her shoulders. From just above the ridge of her brow rose two deep red horns that jutted up, then turned and curled back around either side of her head like some sort of demonic crown, ending in two very sharp points.

She had high cheekbones which also had dark lines on them that ended up criss-crossing over the bridge of her nose and down around her black lips. Behind those lips rested two rows of razor-sharp teeth and a forked tongue. Her chin tapered to a point. Moving further down, he watched her skin flicker and burn as if she were made of smouldering embers; a sight that he would never tire of seeing. More black lines swirled over her chest and abdomen, moving almost imperceptibly like thin snakes slowly slithering over her. Her collarbones were lined with a row of short spikes that continued over her shoulders and down the top half of her arms. Occasionally a pair of smoky black tendrils would curl around her forearms and down around her hands, dispersing from her clawed fingers.

Her legs were crossed so that Shane could clearly see her toned calf muscle, over which more dark lines twisted and turned. At the ankle her skin deepened to black after a short gradient. Her feet stretched out, a little wider than human feet, until they resembled something halfway between a human foot and a hairless clawed animal foot.

Her wings were currently furled, but Shane imagined them on full display. Rather than appearing as tangible appendages, it looked like they were made of pure shadow. They became wispier on the edges where the shadows seemed to bleed out a bit as if they were slightly blurred. It was a breathtaking sight.

“Stop staring at me,” Sara smirked, eyeing him out of the corner of her eye.

Shane smiled, “You’re just so beautiful.”

“Oh, shut up,” Sara laughed, “Aren’t you supposed to be a big tough guy with no emotions?”

“Of course not,” Shane scoffed jokingly, “According to humans I feel glee when I torture the souls of the damned. Or something like that.”

“Yeah I guess so,” Sara gave him and then added teasingly, “And is that accurate?”

“Oh, come on, you and I both know that isn’t true,” Shane said, still grinning, “Heaven? Hell? Humans think they have it all figured out. Well…the religious ones at least.” It was tiring to hear people spouting their misinformed opinions on the afterlife or the nature of demons. When he and Ryan had been to see that religious guy to get advice, he had gotten nearly everything wrong. Plus, he was just a shitty person in general.

“Yeah, well there’s definitely a difference between literally torturing people’s souls as opposed to feeding off them,” Sara said, still mostly focused on the tv, “But who are we to judge? We’re the demons. Maybe humans would see it differently.”

“Oh, I think they would definitely see it differently,” Shane nodded. Humans were strange little creatures that were sometimes difficult to read, but this was something he was sure of, “I don’t think they would take it very well if we just went out and openly started feeding on people’s souls.”

“Hey, it could be worse,” Sara grinned, her eyes glinting mischievously, “We could be feeding on _them_.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why we get such a bad rap,” Shane made a face halfway between a grimace and a smirk, “We’re not so bad.”

“People are afraid of things they don’t understand, I guess,” Sara shrugged. Shane nodded and slipped back into his own thoughts.

Humans were somehow simultaneously incredibly predictable and completely baffling creatures. He had been living as one for nearly ten years now and there were still so many things he didn’t understand. They had such short little lifespans but most of them tried so hard to find purpose or do something meaningful while they could. It seemed that they all had differing ideas on what that meaning might be. Some wanted to change the world. Some just wanted to have a family and impact their own little world. Some wanted to do objectively bad things that they thought were important. They didn’t really do bad things on purpose. No human looks at themself and thinks that they are a bad person, even people that are doing objectively bad things. Hitler, for example. Terrible, _terrible_ person, but even _he_ thought he was doing something noble. He wouldn’t have admitted that he was a bad person, because if he thought what he was doing was bad or amoral he probably wouldn’t have done it.

People may wonder why the King and Queen of the Underworld had decided to set up shop on the mortal plane. The answer was perhaps unexpected, but ultimately very simple. They were just curious. They presided over souls in the Underworld, but it wasn’t Hell as most religions seemed to picture it. The souls weren’t damned, they were just earning their way into the afterlife. Some souls stayed for a few seconds, some stayed for millennia. They didn’t get ‘tortured’ in the traditional sense; they were just made to reflect on their soul in a very raw way. They were exposed to the light of their soul. For some this is heavily confronting because in life they had been bad people, which had turned their souls dark. Going back to the earlier example of Hitler; he was still toiling away in the Underworld and had barely scratched the surface of the darkness that had consumed him. To move into the afterlife, souls needed to cleanse themselves. To understand thoroughly what they had done. Repent, if you will.

Shane and Sara did not stand around poking pitchforks into them. It wasn’t their job to judge what the souls had done in their time on the mortal plane, they just watched over them. As demons, they fed off the negative energies that were produced by these souls. The energy was consumed as quickly as it was produced. In a place where the only goal is to repent, negative emotions flow abundantly. As the souls reflect on everything that had tainted and tarnished them, they give off fear, sadness, anxiety. Everything that a demon enjoys.

After so long existing only in the Underworld, the King and Queen started to get curious. How had these darkest of dark souls become that way? What did they do? More importantly, _why_ would someone do something so terrible that their very essence turned as black as night? They decided that they would take a little trip. A holiday, almost. They fashioned themselves some bodies and some identities and inserted themselves cleanly into the mortal realm, as if they had always been there. They split up at first, investigating different parts of the world, but eventually they decided that the best thing to do would be to attempt to live a human life. A normal human life. Get jobs, live in an apartment, eat, drink, make friends. All that pointless human garbage.

They decided on Buzzfeed as a workplace when they discovered the concept of ‘social justice’. Whether or not Buzzfeed was doing it ‘right’ was irrelevant. Perhaps it would give them an insight into the terrible things that happened in the world and what others were trying to do about it. If they had to make other pointless videos in between, then that was all the better. It was something that they could do to practice being human. Easier to do when your workplace is about interacting and having ‘fun’.

When Ryan first came up with the Unsolved series, Shane was immediately intrigued. Ryan and Brent were making these little episodes about unsolved crimes. Sounded great. Ryan was even talking about supernatural stuff and that made Shane and Sara even more interested. Fortunately for Shane, Brent eventually decided to pull out of the series, thus opening up a gap. He presented himself to Ryan as the perfect replacement. A supernatural skeptic? Shane could play that part. And play that part he did. Exceptionally. Sure, he slipped little things in occasionally because he enjoyed the fan theories that guessed so close to the truth. It was exciting. Ryan put no stock into these theories, which was even better. People were literally telling him Shane was a demon and he brushed them off like it was nothing. Barely even acknowledged them, in fact.

Shane loved it. Oh, it was so beautiful.

The theatrics he could get away with were so thrilling. The smallest thing, like turning on a tiny light, was enough to turn Ryan into a blubbering mess. Sometimes he caught himself grinning at something that a normal human might not grin at, but it played into this character he had created for himself. People joked so much about him being a demon that it made it less and less plausible with every accusation. He walked a fine line, but he became such an absurd caricature that it allowed him to get away with so much.

Given the nature of his and Sara’s existence, one might wonder whether or not they harboured secret desires to hurt or even kill those around them. The answer was a resounding no. How could they possibly live ‘normal’ lives if they were killing and maiming those around them? And aside from that, they just didn’t want to. Just because they were demons, didn’t mean they were _totally_ incapable of emotion.

They enjoyed the company of their colleagues and friends. It was fun to experience life through and with them. They fed off negative emotion, but that didn’t mean positive emotions were in any way harmful to them. They also enjoyed spending time with their ‘families’. It was very novel. Shane was particularly fond of Christmas. So many stupid, useless traditions, but so fun. Any opportunity to wear a funny hat was fine by him. Fourth of July celebrations were also great because it was literally a day of cooking meat and blowing up fireworks.

Of course, they hadn’t grown up with these families. Well they hadn’t really ‘grown up’ at all, but that was neither here nor there. Instead they had inserted themselves into the lives of these families, making it feel as if they had always been there. Photos were altered, memories added, timelines subtly shifted. They fitted in seamlessly.

It wasn’t a chore to maintain the deception. They knew how they were meant to act and how to interact with these people that they had carefully studied. They had had a lot of fun designing their bodies. Of course, they had to take the role of genetics into account with their appearances, so they didn’t have totally free reign. They couldn’t exactly turn up in the family with blonde hair and blue eyes when the rest of the family was brunette with brown eyes, but still, it was fun to design these brand-new people.

When they started their lives up, they were pleased to find that they appeared perfectly normal. Both of them had tried to put some ‘flaws’ into their forms so that they didn’t look out of place. People that looked too ‘traditionally beautiful’ were anomalies. But they worked it out.

Sara was below average height, a huge change from her true height of around seven and a half feet, and she had frizzy, curly hair. Curly hair wasn’t really a flaw and it did suit Sara’s look, but she was pleased when she found it a bit harder to maintain than perfectly straight or wavy hair. It made her more human. It was also exciting to have something that was so wildly different to her true hair, which wasn’t even really hair, but it always sat so perfectly. It never tangled or knotted, so she had never had to deal with that. Now she had to work at it. Sometimes she got frustrated with it, but that was part of the experience.

Shane had been happy to make himself look absurdly tall and lanky with a slightly larger-than-normal head (if Ryan’s jibes were anything to go by). His body was thin but not muscular. He was just a regular guy. It was such a stark contrast to his true form. Despite being tall for a human, it didn’t come anywhere close to his true height of nearly eight feet. Rather than being red like Sara, Shane’s demon skin was a deep grey-green colour. Where Sara’s horns were sleek and smooth, his were ridged and much thicker. They rose straight up from his forehead before curving directly backwards over the top of his head. His hair was long like Sara’s and just as black, but his face was much more angular, his brow more pronounced. His eyes were a uniform jet black, unlike Sara, who still had iris-like circles within the red.

His skin was tough, like leather, but almost became scaly further down on his arms. His massive hands ended in shorter claws than Sara’s, though they were just as sharp. His body was chiseled, but in a different way to how a muscled human might look since the muscles beneath the skin were not the same. His abdomen curved dramatically inwards so that it was concave to his body. His hips protruded out with edges that were jagged in appearance. His legs were thick and black, having transitioned from the grey-green colour roughly at his waist. He had humanoid legs down to his knee, but just past that they changed angles slightly and ended in massive, cloven hooves. His wingspan was massive and much more bat-like than Sara’s.

To be honest, he had a pretty ‘pop-culture-Devil’ appearance in general. They didn’t get it all right, but he had appeared briefly on the mortal plane a few times several millennia ago, so they got a basic description. It had been a while though and there weren’t exactly cameras around, so things got a little muddled. He had never appeared for very long and people had really only gotten short glimpses of him. He just felt like checking in every now and then.

If Ryan could see his true form…oh boy.


	2. Baby's First Empathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be aware that secrets come with a price tag that you may not be aware of. Tread with caution.

The next day at work Shane was sitting at his desk, reclined a little in his chair with his headphones on. He was editing a video and was watching back some of the pieces they had filmed. He felt movement beside him and turned to see Ryan sitting down. He paused his video, moved the headphones to sit around his neck, and smiled widely, “Morning.”

“You seem…chipper this morning,” Ryan noted.

Shane shrugged, “What, I’m not allowed to be in a good mood?”

“I guess,” Ryan sighed tiredly.

Noticing the dull look in his eyes and the waves of fatigue rolling of him, Shane looked at him concernedly and asked, “Hey, are you okay? Bad night’s sleep?”

Ryan dropped his backpack beside his desk and placed his laptop bag next to his keyboard. He nodded, “I always get a bad night’s sleep when we get back from a shoot.”

“Yeah,” Shane nodded along sympathetically, “Well don’t worry, that’s the last one of the season. No more sleepless nights for Night Night Bergara.”

Ryan laughed, “Good.”

Shane put his headphones back on and turned his attention back to the footage. He vaguely wondered whether Ryan would pick up on any of the spirits they had encountered. There had been at least a dozen hanging around and Shane had seen a few of them trying to talk to Ryan. They seldom tried to speak to Shane. He couldn’t really blame them. He was the very definition of bad energy. Sometimes Ryan actually managed to pinpoint one of their voices, but most of the time he was zeroing in on the sound of an animal or the wind. Shane was good enough at his job that he always left seeds of doubt in Ryan’s mind, so that even when he heard a fairly distinct voice, he couldn’t say for certain that’s what it was.

In the past Shane had considered revealing himself to Ryan just to see his reaction. He would be able to remove the memory quickly and cleanly and replace it with something else. Something nice. To be honest, he was still seriously considering it. It wasn’t so much that he relished the idea of Ryan being in the worst fear of his life, it was just a morbid curiosity. He had asked Sara for her opinion, but she had just shrugged, “It’s your decision, don’t drag me into this. If you wanna show him, show him.”

Not to be dramatic, but Shane was genuinely worried that if he appeared to Ryan in his true form, he wouldn’t have a chance to take the memory away because Ryan would just straight up die on the spot. It would be so shocking and horrifying for him that it was a real concern. If only there was a way to convince him of it without actually having to show himself.

When all was said and done, Shane wasn’t sure why he was deliberating so much. Why so hesitant? Ryan wouldn’t even remember it, so it really should have been an easy decision. Maybe Shane was finally starting to _really_ get into the mind of a human. His best guess was that he didn’t want to scare Ryan that much regardless of how fleeting that feeling might be. It seemed like he now genuinely cared for this human. This _would_ have been an easy decision a couple years ago, but things were different now.

Later that evening when Sara got home, Shane got up to greet her in the entryway, “Hey,” he grinned and put his arms around her.

She mirrored his grin, “Hey,” she replied, “What’s going on? You’re in a good mood.”

Shane leaned down to kiss her and then held her face in his hands. She reached up to cover them with her own as she smiled up at him and he said, “I realised today that I’m having a lot of emotions that are more human than demon!”

Sara made a surprised, yet approving, noise, “Wow, really?

“I figured out why I’ve been so concerned about showing Ryan I’m a demon,” Shane said excitedly, “It’s because I’m worried about him!”

“I knew you were worried about him though,” Sara said slowly, still smiling up at him, albeit a little more confused now.

“Yeah but I was asking myself why I felt worried even though I knew I could make him forget, and I realised that it’s because I’m worried about hurting him at all,” Shane blurted, “I mean, you know…like even a moment of pain for him would make me feel bad. Like how humans do.”

“Oh, like empathy!” Sara exclaimed, finally understanding.

“Yeah!” Shane replied, “Baby’s first empathy.”

Sara pinched his cheek and put on a voice like she was talking to a child, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I made us burritos to celebrate,” Shane said, gesturing to the kitchen and then making a show of wafting the smell towards Sara’s face, “And beer.”

“Aww, you’re the best,” Sara laughed as she got up on her tiptoes and pulled him down for a kiss. Then she giggled a little, “I think we’re both becoming a lot more human.”

“Crazy, huh,” Shane smirked as they both moved into the kitchen.

When they had finished eating and gotten to the end of season six of Frasier, Shane looked down at Sara resting in his arms. He loved the show, but he hadn’t been paying very close attention. He still felt like he was in a bit of a quandary about whether or not to reveal himself, which was very confusing due to the newly discovered empathy. He almost felt like he owed it to Ryan. He didn’t want to scare him, but he also didn’t like lying to him.

He sighed, “You know, maybe I should tell him. I feel like he deserves to know, even if it’s just for a little bit.”

Sara looked up at him from his lap, confused, “Wait, but I thought you didn’t want to hurt him. You’re really backflipping on this a lot and I can’t keep track anymore.”

“Well I definitely don’t want to just turn up looking like a demon, but I was thinking that maybe I could somehow break it to him gently,” Shane murmured, “Like maybe I can just sort of lead him into it. If he pieces it together himself it might not be such a shock.”

Sara considered this, chewing softly on her lip, “Well…that makes sense, I guess,” she gave a one-shouldered shrug, “How are you gonna do that?”

“Not sure yet,” Shane mused.

“Will you tell him about me as well?” Sara asked.

“I guess so. I mean if these are just memories I’m going to erase anyway, it can’t hurt to tell him the whole kit and caboodle,” Shane said simply.

Shane agonised over how he might clue Ryan into the fact that he was a demon. For someone who scoured footage for every skerrick of supernatural evidence, no matter how big of a reach it was, he was remarkably oblivious to any of the hints Shane might drop. Perhaps he could leave some anonymous demon research on his desk. Something that had slightly more accurate information than what you could find on the internet. What could he put in it though?

‘Sometimes demons look like tall skinny guys with brown hair and a sarcastic disposition.’

No, that wouldn’t work.

But what _would_ work? He could show how impossibly unafraid of demons he was, but he had kind of already been doing that. Shane had certainly become more cavalier over the seasons, now openly screaming for demons to rip his bones out of his body. He gave extra little glances to the camera. Smirks, chuckles, knowing looks. Things that made the fanbase go nuts, compiling documents and videos all about how he must be a demon.

And yet the thought wasn’t even on Ryan’s radar. Barely even as a joke. He just never referenced it. It was so frustrating. He wondered what would happen if he just straight up said, ‘Hey by the way, I’m a demon.’

Shane chuckled to himself, but then paused.

Maybe…maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Ryan would almost certainly brush it off, but if he said it with just enough conviction, it might be enough to plant the seed in Ryan’s mind.

Okay, new plan.

Shane had to pick his moment carefully. He wondered whether he should wait until it was in the context of whatever conversation they were having, like when they were discussing Buzzfeed Unsolved, but decided that would make it much easier for Ryan to laugh it off. Ultimately, he figured it would be better and more confusing for ol’ Ryan Bergara if he just dropped the bomb out of nowhere, gave him a second to respond, and then just go back to his day as normal.

The next day when Ryan was in the break room fixing himself a coffee, Shane waited a little and then followed him in under the guise of also wanting a cup of coffee. He smiled as he strode through the door and over to the coffee machine. Ryan was sitting at one of the little tables in a comfortable chair. Shane looked over, “What’s goin’ on, man?”

Ryan gestured to his mug, “Filling up on caffeine. I have so much editing to get done.”

“Unsolved?” Shane questioned casually.

Ryan nodded, “Yeah, there’s a shitload to analyse. It would be good if you could help me, but I know you would ignore every piece of evidence.”

“You mean I would ignore all the gusts of wind?” Shane asked, raising his eyebrows as he lifted the mug to his lips.

Ryan sighed resignedly, “Yeah. All the gusts of wind that are capable of forming words. Those winds.”

“Hey, wind is wind,” Shane shrugged, “You can make it sound however you want it to sound.”

Ryan looked at him with a hint of displeasure, “You know you really have a knack for turning my smile upside down.”

“Yeah, that’s…wait, what?” Shane frowned.

“You heard me,” Ryan challenged.

Shane waved him off, “I’ve had enough outta you, Bergara.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and then changed the subject before they could start bickering like an old married couple, “What are you working on today?”

“Sara asked me to be in a video. Something about international cake tasting, I dunno,” Shane said as he sat down opposite Ryan, “And then I’m helping out with production on one of Jen’s videos in the afternoon.”

“How is Sara?” Ryan asked, nearing the end of his coffee.

Shane grinned almost giddily, “She’s good.”

“Ugh, you’re so in love it’s sickening,” Ryan made a retching noise.

“Oh please, have you looked at your Instagram captions for Mari lately?” Shane scoffed, “You sound like a watered-down Lord Byron.”

Ryan scowled and Shane just laughed at him.

“Well I’m just about done with this coffee,” Shane stared down into his empty mug. He pushed himself up from the chair and then paused and looked down at Ryan, “Oh and, uh, by the way,” he glanced around surreptitiously, “The fans hit the nail on the head. I _am_ a demon.”

Something about the way he said it so seriously made Ryan let out a nervous, breathy laugh. He looked up at Shane, “Wh-what?”

“I’m a demon,” Shane repeated, no hint of a mischievous grin on his face.

Ryan blinked a few times. He was still trying to find a way to laugh it off, “But…that’s…you sound so serious.”

Shane finally smirked a little but that didn’t comfort Ryan. It wasn’t a smirk that suggested he was just joking around. In a quiet voice he just said, “I am serious.”

Ryan found himself unable to form words. Shane could see that he was searching for anything that would give away that this was a joke. Searching for a non-existent chink in the armour of Shane’s solemn façade. But there were no footholds. Nothing he could scratch away at. His face was frozen halfway between an unsure smile and total disbelief. Shane could feel the uncomfortable doubt flickering in Ryan’s soul. There was also a hint of something far more delicious, sort of a precursor to fear. Over time that fear and uncertainty would spread, and Shane delighted in that thought. Part of him felt bad about this - well, actually a lot of him did - but Ryan would get over it eventually. Probably.

After letting it simmer for a moment, Shane let his face relax into a smile. He tapped the back of the chair in front of him and cheerfully said, “Well! Back to work!” He turned to walk out the door. Without looking back, he held up a hand in a casual wave and called, “See ya Ry!”

Shane made sure that he was busy the rest of the day. He didn’t want to give Ryan a chance to talk to him or ask him about it. He wanted to let him stew on it for at least a full day. Though he didn’t go near Ryan again, he could sense him in the building. He could even pinpoint his location when he left briefly to get lunch. The uncertainty spread and eventually gave way to fear, though still in its infancy. Shane knew that it would take more than this for Ryan to believe him. This miniscule flair of fear would subside by the next day, but the seed would have been planted. Then it would just be a matter of tending to it occasionally. Feeding it. Eventually it would blossom and ultimately, he would be revealed. His deepest secret laid bare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this like 2 years ago, by the way, so the whole thing is complete. There will be 7 chapters overall. I'll update at least once a week but probably more. 
> 
> Hope you're all staying safe and well.


	3. Let's Go Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the Devil flies, sometimes all he wants to do is to check up on you.

“Soooo,” Sara smirked, looking over at him from the couch, “How’d it go?”

Shane was in the kitchen cooking spaghetti bolognese. He smiled at Sara, “Oh you noticed?”

She scoffed, “Please, you think I wouldn’t smell that fear?”

“Well it was just a _little_ bit of fear,” Shane replied and went back to stirring the pot of pasta, “Sometimes he gets more scared just watching the footage from our little trips.”

“Well, that’s true,” Sara nodded. She fiddled with the edge of a throw draped over the couch, “But this was different, you know? It always smells different when it’s first-hand fear. Not that crappy second-hand fear from watching something scary back.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Shane agreed. Negative emotions had different tastes depending on whether the person was experiencing real fear or just perceived fear, for example someone watching a scary movie. There was nothing like the genuine fear someone felt when they were scared for their life or when they were perhaps worried about some terrible outcome from their actions. Stuff like that. That’s why it was so fun for Shane to go on all the supernatural shoots with Ryan. Never in his entire time on Earth had he felt such raw fear in his immediate vicinity. It was intoxicating. Sara often grumbled about how unfair it was.

“So, what now?” Sara asked, “How are you gonna stoke this fire?”

“Well,” Shane rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “I guess I’ll probably just wait and see how he’s acting when I see him tomorrow. He’ll probably ask me about it. I think I’ll just tell him again that I’m a demon. He’ll either think that I’m just really committed to some sort of confusing bit or that there might be some truth to it. It’ll be quicker if it’s the latter, but he’s a bit unpredictable with this stuff.”

“Yeah,” Sara nodded in agreement, “Humans are so strange sometimes.”

“Humans are _always_ strange,” Shane said, “They’re never just straight forward about anything. I mean I’d say we’re both getting better at understanding human relationships, but there’s still so much I really don’t get. Like why sometimes people that don’t like each other still feel obligated to be nice to each other. Especially if they _know_ they don’t like each other. Where’s the logic?”

“Well that’s kind of under the category of social decorum. People can’t just be dicks to each other whenever they feel like it. Sometimes they have to be civil to each other for some reason, like maybe because they work in the same environment and it would make it uncomfortable for everyone else,” Sara posited.

Shane made a face, “I guess. I’m sure one day I’ll understand it. For now, I just need Ryan to take me a bit more seriously.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to just show him?” Sara asked.

“I still think it'll make it a bit easier on him if he works it out himself,” Shane replied, but then added a smirk, “Plus I kind of like the slow burn.”

“Ugh,” Sara rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him, “Is dinner nearly ready?”

Shane caught the pillow before it could fall into the saucepan, “Yeah, I mean it almost came with a side of cushion, but yeah it’s pretty much done.”

They chatted a bit further over dinner about their day and Shane enjoyed how perfectly human that was. They had gotten much better with casual conversation. It was exciting to learn these things with Sara. When they had first come to Earth it was very clear that their conversations, especially small talk, were stilted and clumsy. It was easy to blame it on just being generally socially awkward people, but eventually they learned how to speak more naturally. Now it was second nature. It had been a steep learning curve when they started working at Buzzfeed because a lot of the time you were expected to make little quips in videos or casual remarks. It was why they had both started at Buzzfeed as behind-the-scenes workers, and then slowly as they became more comfortable, they stretched their social muscles and put themselves out there a little more.

After they had finished dinner, Sara looked up at Shane, “Are you still hungry?”

He smiled, “Yeah. Do you want to go out?”

Sara nodded with a grin. It had finally gotten dark outside and even though all the lights meant that it never truly got dark in Los Angeles, it was enough. They had purposely bought an apartment on the top floor. It made it much easier to steal away into the night whenever they wanted. After turning off all the lights, they stepped out onto the small balcony. Shane reached out briefly to make sure there was no one in the immediate vicinity to catch sight of them, and then he unfurled his wings. With one strong flap, he perched on the very top of the roof in a crouched position. Sara soon followed. They looked out onto the busy streets around them. Shane looked over at Sara, “Where to?”

She grinned at him, razor teeth on fully display. It made his heart skip a beat. She was beautiful. “Why don’t we pay Ryan a little visit. See how he’s feeling?”

Shane nodded, “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”

Standing up fully, he leapt into the night and caught an air thermal that would take him higher. When they were just about up to the cloud line, they made their way across the city in the direction of Ryan’s apartment. On the way they caught streams of emotion flowing from every direction. Some people in an apartment down below were watching a thriller. They circled for a few minutes to catch a couple of jump scares, but eventually they continued on.

They ended up zigzagging around a bit because Ryan didn’t actually live too far away and they wanted a nice, long outing.

A few blocks away a couple of men were getting into a bar fight. Proper anger tasted good. Feelings were so amplified when people had been drinking. A woman below was distraught after the death of her dog that day. Though the emotion tasted good to Shane, his heart twisted a little. He liked animals and she obviously had loved the little creature with her whole heart. Shane didn’t feel _too_ bad for her - he was still a demon after all - but it was certainly something that was growing in him. Maybe that would turn out to be a bad thing in the long run, but for now he was happy to learn and grow in his human life.

He glanced over at Sara. She always made him feel better. She pointed silently down at Ryan’s apartment building and they both swooped deftly down onto the roof. No one ever saw them when they flew. They blended into the shadows so well that they may as well have been invisible.

Shane sent his feelers several floors down. It was so easy to locate Ryan’s soul because it was bright and enthusiastic. Shane wasn’t sure if he felt it more strongly because they were friends, but it certainly did seem to be a bit more unique than most other souls. Sara agreed. Ryan was pacing around his living room. He was uneasy.

“Maybe he did take it more seriously than you thought,” Sara murmured, glancing over at him.

“Yeah,” Shane nodded, “Seems like he might have. Where do you think his head’s at?” Sara was much better at delving into someone’s psyche. Shane could tell surface emotions just fine and he could glean information from them, but Sara could go much deeper.

Sara paused for a moment, her eyes blazing in the dark. Eventually she said in a low voice, “He’s wrestling between the idea that you’re a demon and the thought that he could be totally wrong and end up looking like an idiot. I think part of him definitely believes you, but there’s a big part of him reminding himself that that’s impossible. That if he takes you seriously then he’s just going to be a laughingstock.”

Shane's brow furrowed, “He thinks I’ll call him stupid?” 

“Well you have to remember that this is something you’ve spent so long telling him is impossible and that you don’t believe in any of it. You guys joke about this stuff so much, and I mean…you kinda already call him stupid,” Sara replied, “There’s a certain narrative that has been set in his mind. You say the idea of ghosts and demons is ludicrous, you often make fun of him believing in them, then you tell him out of nowhere that you are a demon. What do you expect him to think? It’s such a crazy thing for him to contemplate, such a big leap. He’s telling himself it can’t be true. You’re just making fun of him again.”

“But part of him believes it,” Shane confirmed.

“Part of him, yeah,” Sara nodded, “I think just enough of him that it’s something he’ll ask you about. Maybe tomorrow or maybe a week from now, I dunno. A lot is going through his mind right now. I can’t keep track of thoughts for very long because his mind is just racing.”

Shane took a moment to digest this, “Well that’s good, I suppose. He’ll figure it out.”

“Do you think you’ll show yourself to him?” Sara asked, “I mean once he does figure it out.”

“I think that’s a decision I’ll have to make in the moment,” Shane shrugged, “If I think it’ll snap his mind like a twig then probably not, but if I think he’ll be able to handle it then…maybe.”

“What if he does figure it out, but then doesn’t want you to take away the memory?” Sara asked, “Like what if he takes it really well?”

Shane shook his head, “No. It doesn’t matter what he says, it’s too much of a risk. I’d rather take away the memory than have to do damage control later.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Sara agreed softly, “Are you nervous?”

Shane paused to consider this, “A little bit, yeah.”

“About anything in particular?” Sara questioned, moving a little closer to him.

“No, just generally nervous about how he’ll take it,” Shane said, “But also how he finds out. I mean if he doesn’t figure it out mostly by himself then I have to figure out how to lead him into it more. I kinda feel like the less I have to push it, the better the outcome is likely to be.”

Sara nodded then turned her gaze back to the skyline, “Come on. We’re not going to get any more information on this tonight.”


	4. Human Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

Shane tapped his pen on his desk as he intermittently took short notes on some footage he was watching. The moment he felt eyes on him, he knew that Ryan had just gotten to work. A nervous energy was pumping through Ryan’s veins as he slowly walked over to his desk. Shane looked up to give a brief wave and then went back to his computer screen. Ryan sat down but continued to glance over every now and then. Over the course of the next forty-five minutes Ryan seemed to relax a little as he settled into the normal routine of a workday.

Shane finally took off his headphones and swung his chair around to face Ryan, “You ready for the rock-climbing thing this afternoon?”

“The…what?” Ryan asked, seeming distracted.

“The new Test Friends video?” Shane asked, “Ringin' a bell?”

“Oh shit!” Ryan said, eyes widening, “I totally forgot! What did we need to bring again?”

“I dunno, just general workout gear I guess,” Shane shrugged, “You’re getting a lift with Jen, right? You can just swing by your place on the way there.”

“Oh,” Ryan nodded, running a hand through his hair, “Yeah, good. Man, I totally forgot.”

“Yeah you do seem a little frazzled this morning,” Shane said, “You get enough sleep?”

Ryan made a face at him, “Actually now that you mention it, I had a pretty shitty night’s sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about that dumb joke you made about being a demon. I kept having this nightmare where you trapped me in a haunted house and flew around my head.”

“Flew around your head?” Shane asked, laughing a little, “What like the little birds that fly around in cartoons when someone hits their head?”

“Yeah, only terrifying,” Ryan rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe it freaked me out so much. There are so many comments about it but hearing you say it just sort of threw me for a loop.”

“Ha, yeah,” Shane smirked.

Nerves suddenly emanated out from Ryan and in a slightly softer voice he said, “It…it _was_ a joke, right?”

Shane peered at him, showing no emotion whatsoever. Before he could say anything, Sara walked up behind Ryan and said, “Hey Ry, could you give me a hand with something?” Ryan stared at Shane for a moment, eyes a bit wider. Sara looked at him, “Ryan?”

Finally, he turned around, “Uh, sure. What do you need?”

Sara started to explain to him a video that she was planning, and Shane used the opportunity to get up and go to the break room. Ryan watched him go helplessly. He clearly wanted to get up and follow, but Sara was still talking to him.

Ryan didn’t have a chance to talk to Shane one-on-one again before they needed to shoot their new episode of Test Friends. Shane could tell that he was trying to keep it together enough to maintain the light-hearted banter they normally had in this series and he actually did a pretty good job of it. It was only after they had finished and Shane was giving Ryan a lift back to his place that Ryan could finally talk to him.

Shane could feel the nervous tendrils curling through Ryan’s insides. He decided to break the silence, “What’s goin’ on with you? You seem distracted.”

“Uh, yeah, I…” Ryan swallowed anxiously, “I just didn’t get a chance to finish our conversation earlier when Sara came over.”

“Oh, right, what did you want to ask?” Shane asked casually.

Ryan’s heart was beating a mile a minute and he was lightly sweating, more than the semi-warm weather could account for. Shane picked through the nerves to find the small morsels of fear while Ryan psyched himself up for the conversation. Eventually he said, “Well you didn’t answer me about the demon thing being a joke.”

“Oh, you wanna know if I was serious?” Shane raised his eyebrows a little, and at this small gesture Ryan seemed to subconsciously relax a little. Perhaps he thought Shane was about to laugh about the joke with him. Instead Shane said, “Yeah, I was serious.”

The small smile that had been building on Ryan’s face disappeared completely as his eyes widened a little, “You’re…”

“Being serious, yes,” Shane repeated. They were nearing Ryan’s apartment block and Shane wondered whether Ryan would just get out of the car and go home or whether he might want to stay and ask more questions.

Suddenly anger surged through Ryan’s body, taking Shane a bit aback, “All right, I’ve had it with you making fun of me like this.”

Shane was dumbfounded, “What?” He had not expected this reaction at all.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Ryan's voice had risen a little.

“No, Ryan, I really don’t,” Shane held up a hand in a half-shrug. He couldn’t look around at Ryan properly because he still had to keep his eyes on the road.

Ryan put on a mocking voice, “Oh, Ryan is so afraid of supernatural shit, how fucking funny would it be to make him think I’m a demon.”

Shane was so confused, “Ryan, _what_ are you talking about?”

A proper burst of anger erupted from Ryan and he actually yelled this time, “I’m not an idiot, Shane! I’m fucking sick of you making fun of me like this! It’s fine on the show, I get it, we’re making videos for entertainment! But you don’t have to do this shit off camera, all right? I don’t know what it is with you lately, but you’re treating me like a fucking moron!”

Shane was a bit lost for words, “Ryan, I…I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t know what you want from me.”

Ryan bristled and then growled, “Oh, you don’t know,” in a sharp, bitter tone he added, “You know what, just let me out here. I’ll walk.”

“Come on. Ryan,” Shane tried to defuse him, but it wasn’t working.

“Pull over,” Ryan said with an air of finality.

Shane let out an angry sigh, “All right _fine_ ,” he pulled up alongside the nearest curb, “Get out.”

Ryan slammed the door behind him. Shane had no idea what had just happened. It had confused him so much that he barely even registered the anger pulsing through the air and did nothing to drink it in. He made his way home through the busy Los Angeles traffic and threw his bag down on the couch. He stormed around the room a few times, not really sure what to do. He didn’t often experience anger like this. Emotions were something to be absorbed, not experienced. Such a waste of energy.

What had he said to make Ryan react like that? Sure, Shane had made fun of him in the past for all his ghost talk, but he had been careful this time to make it obvious that he _wasn’t_ joking. Shane ran through the events again in his head.

He told Ryan he was a demon, Ryan wasn’t sure whether or not to take it seriously, he confirmed once again that he was a demon, Ryan still wasn’t sure, he told Ryan that he was serious, and then, what…Ryan got angry? How was that a reasonable response to a serious statement? Was Ryan angry that he was a demon?

He had been so difficult to read because the anger had been coursing through him so strongly. Shane had never felt anything like it from Ryan. It was completely baffling. He also had no idea how to rectify this. How were you meant to calm someone down when you had no idea what had them riled up in the first place?

The sound of the front door opening caught his attention. He turned to see Sara walking in. She gave him a funny look, “What’s going on with you?”

“Humans are fucking dumb. They make no sense,” Shane fumed.

“Why, what happened?” Sara asked, wandering over to the couch, “Come on, sit down and tell me what happened.”

Shane let out a huff but did as she said, “Ryan asked me if I was serious about the demon thing and I told him that I was and then, out of nowhere, he started yelling at me!”

Sara’s brow knitted together in confusion, “Yelling about what?”

“He thought that I was calling him a moron or something,” Shane grumbled, “It just came out of nowhere. I told him I was serious and then he told me that he was sick of me treating him like an idiot and made me stop the car so that he could get out.”

Sara thought for a moment, “Maybe…maybe he was just confused. Like maybe he’s scared about what it might mean if you _are_ being serious and he doesn’t know how to handle that, so it just comes out as anger.”

“What?” Shane snapped, “That’s stupid! If he’s confused, then he should feel _confused_.”

“But that’s not really how things work for humans,” Sara shrugged.

“Well humans are _dumb_ ,” Shane muttered petulantly as he allowed his human façade to fade away. From an outside perspective it looked absolutely ridiculous; this eight-foot demonic figure scowling on a human-sized couch grumbling to himself with his arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

Sara rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the couch, “Well while you sit here and sulk, I’m going out with some friends for dinner. If you’re in the same mood when I get back, I’m going to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” Shane echoed, exasperated, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sara dropped a hip and folded her arms to mirror his, “You’re the Lord of the Underworld. Act like it.”

“Oh what, I’m not allowed to be angry?” Shane snapped.

Sara sighed and started to walk to their room to get changed into nicer clothes. Softly, but so that Shane would still hear, she murmured, “And you say humans are dumb.”

Shane sat, stunned. Was everyone just out to get him today? He stayed stubbornly on the couch, not bothering to go back into his human form even though he barely fit in the room and it actually was kind of uncomfortable. He glared at Sara as she walked over to the door, “All right, well while you sit here like an idiot, I’m going out to have fun.”

“Oh yeah?” Shane scowled and sarcastically said, “Well have fun.”

Sara looked back at him, unimpressed, “Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

“Oh,” Shane deflated a little, “Well…good. Go.”

“Yeah. Bye,” Sara smirked and closed the door behind her.

Shane sat there, unmoving, for at least another hour. Eventually he slipped back into his human body. The apartment just wasn’t built to house his enormous stature. Plus, it occurred to him that he actually _was_ being ridiculous. He still wasn’t sure what he was meant to do though. He couldn’t figure out why Ryan had been so furious. Shane would never _actually_ try to call Ryan dumb. Sure, he did it semi-regularly, but it was obviously in jest. Ryan called him dumb all the time as well. Why was this time different, especially when he _hadn’t even called him dumb in the first place_?

Stupid humans and their stupid unpredictability.

Shane just wanted to go back to their regular dynamic where they just mucked around and had fun at work. Maybe it had been a mistake to start all this with Ryan. He really should have known better than to start messing around with things that humans didn’t need to know about. He had only wanted to show Ryan that he had been right about all this stuff, or at least most of it. The vindication would only last a moment, of course; Ryan couldn’t know about it forever. Perhaps it would be best if he just called the whole thing off now. He could go back to Ryan and sincerely apologise and promise not to joke around about this anymore. Not seriously, at any rate. Hopefully Ryan would forgive him.

After pacing around the house a few more times, Shane decided that he needed to get outside for a walk to clear his head. He figured it would be good to get some fresh air, but he mostly just wanted to wander around collecting fragments of sustenance wherever he could. All this unexpected anger had given him a headache. Well…not quite a headache, since he couldn’t get headaches, but he figured he had a close approximation.

He walked for half an hour until he reached the nearest shopping mall. Most shops were closed, but the ground floor still had a lot of restaurants and takeaway places open. Wandering through the main square, Shane picked up on several threads of anger and sadness. He didn’t bother to trace back to their roots, and they weren’t even very strong emotions. Surface emotions, probably. Nothing too deep. He caught wind of a stronger feeling of anxiety and sat down on a nearby bench, pretending to be engrossed in his phone. He scrolled absentmindedly through Instagram, not paying attention to any of the posts while he absorbed the anxiety of someone who hated being out in crowds. It was certainly quite busy that night with people milling around looking for somewhere nice to eat. Social anxiety wasn’t the best taste, but it was often quite potent. He would take what he could get.

When he finally wandered back home, he reached into his pocket to get his keys, but instead he found nothing, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he grumbled. He knocked on the door in case Sara was home, but he already knew she wasn’t. He would have been able to sense her. Not wanting to go back out for another walk, he just sat down by the door and pulled out his phone. What a sight. The fucking Devil locked out of his house. Pathetic. This was all Ryan’s fault.

Unfortunately for Shane, Sara didn’t return until an hour later. He looked up when he sensed her coming and as she rounded the corner from the flight of stairs, she stopped and stared at him. She laughed a little and then walked over, “How long have you been out here?”

Shane made a sour face and mumbled, “I dunno. An hour, I guess.”

He stood up as Sara stepped over to unlock the door. She slipped her shoes off as she walked inside, “So what were you doing?”

“Just went for a walk,” Shane shrugged, “I was hungry.”

“Are you feeling better?” Sara asked.

Shane thought for a moment and then nodded, “Yeah, I think so.”

“You’re still annoyed at Ryan though?” Sara walked up to him and grabbed his hands in hers. She always knew how he was feeling.

He sighed, “Yeah, I guess. I just don’t understand.”

“Well,” Sara pulled him over to the couch, “Here’s what I think. You’ve been doing this series with Ryan for about two years now, right? And, like I said before, that entire time you’ve been solidifying in his mind the idea that you don’t believe in any of this and that you find it absolutely ridiculous to even entertain the thought. Now, seemingly out of nowhere, you tell him you’re a demon and because you are being so serious about it, it’s just not really computing for him. There’s no way you’d be saying it if it wasn’t true, so his first instinct is to believe you, at least partially. But then his brain kicks into gear and reminds him that you think all that stuff is dumb.”

Shane just stared at her blankly, “Okay, but I still don’t know why that made him angry.”

“He’s trying so hard to process this conflicting information, that I think it’s just manifesting as anger. It’s confusion mixed with uncertainty mixed with frustration,” Sara told him.

“He’s angry because he thinks I might be telling the truth?” Shane asked slowly.

“I think so, yeah,” Sara nodded.

This answer did not satisfy Shane, “What the fuck, how is that a thing? Why are humans like this?”

Sara just gave him a look.

He sighed and said, “All right. So…how do I fix it?”

Sara shrugged, “I dunno. That’s up to you to find out.”

Shane let out another frustrated huff, “Ugh, fine.”


	5. Showtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quam bene vivas refert, non quam diu

Okay, how do you stop a human from being angry at you?

That was the first question Shane had to answer.

Humans sometimes bought each other gifts. Squabbling partners often got flowers for each other, but Shane had noted that this was usually a gift given by _romantic_ partners. So, no flowers. He knew that Ryan liked sports. He had a lot of jerseys and fancy sneakers, but that would probably be too much. This wasn’t like a big, _proper_ fight. At least not as far as Shane knew. It was possible that their friendship genuinely was on the rocks and he just hadn’t realised but he liked to think that he knew Ryan well enough now that if that was the case he would know. He wasn’t _totally_ oblivious to how humans worked. He had been living as one for a decade now even though a lot of things still baffled him, he had gathered enough information to have a vague understanding of social constructs and friendships.

So, a gift that was small, yet meaningful. That was the way to go. He racked his brain trying to think of something that Ryan would like, but he was coming up blank. In the end he just decided to go for something easy and went by a cafe to get a blueberry muffin and Ryan’s favourite coffee. He felt a little apprehensive as he went into work. He wasn’t loving this whole ‘feeling emotions’ thing. It had been increasingly noticeable over the last year, but now he was finally admitting to it. He suspected Sara was taking emotions in her stride much better than he was.

Ryan was already sitting at his desk, which Shane supposed was a good thing. He quickly walked over to his desk and cleared his throat a little, “Hey.”

Ryan looked up at him. He looked tired as he grunted out a short, “Hey.”

“I, uh…I brought a peace offering,” Shane held up the muffin and coffee.

Ryan stared at him for a moment and then, in a clipped voice, he said, “Thanks.”

Shane placed them down and then dropped down into his seat. He peered at Ryan carefully, “Are you okay? You look tired.”

Ryan took a sip of the coffee before looking back at Shane, “Well…you know…I’ve just been looking into some things.”

Shane nodded awkwardly, not sure how to respond to that. He glanced down at his hands, which he noticed were fidgeting a little, and then he softly said, “By the way, I don’t…I don’t think you’re stupid. I just want to be clear.”

Ryan bristled a little, “I don’t wanna hear it right now.”

Shane looked up, confused, “But I…I’m apologising.”

“No, you’re not,” Ryan frowned at him, “You haven’t taken anything back and you haven’t said sorry. You just gave me some food and a coffee.”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Shane nodded, “I am sorry.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes, “You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ when I tell you to. That’s not how an apology works.”

Shane was so confused. Anger was simmering within Ryan again. This wasn't going at all the way Shane thought it would and he was feeling even more out of his depth. He tried to feel through Ryan's general aura the way Sara did so easily, but he just wasn't good at it so instead he threw up his arms, “I don’t know what you want from me, Ryan. I’m trying to say sorry.”

Ryan glared at him, breathing a bit heavily. Finally, he turned back to his computer and said bitterly, “Just forget it, okay?” Shane was still staring at him, not sure what had just happened. Ryan eventually added, “And for the record? I hate blueberry muffins.”

Humans were dumb. Humans were so dumb, and they made no sense.

With a low growl, Shane got up and stormed out of the building. He needed to collect himself. He noticed Sara follow him out and he waited for her to catch up. They walked together in silence for a few minutes and then Sara said, “What happened?”

“I don’t _know_ what happened!” Shane shouted, exasperated, “I tried to apologise to him, and he got angry _again_! How does that even make sense?”

Sara shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m almost in the same boat as you when it comes to knowing how humans think.”

“They _don’t_ think,” Shane growled, “So stupid. I preferred it in the Underworld where all they had to think about was dusting off their little souls so that they could skip off into the afterlife.”

“So,” Sara looked up at him cautiously, “…you wanna go back down there?”

This made Shane stop short.

"I..." He looked down at her and then around at the city and the people and the traffic. He looked at the sun and the clear blue sky. Then he looked back down at his hands, his fingers splayed out as he turned them over. With a sigh he said, “No, not yet. We still haven’t even gotten close to figuring out what we wanted to when we came up here.”

“I agree,” Sara said simply.

Shane looked at her. He loved seeing her true form, but he also enjoyed seeing her human body. She was adorable. Beautiful. He liked his life here. He liked learning about humans, no matter how confusing and foolish they seemed to him.

“All right let’s go back inside. I’ll figure out how to fix it,” Shane sighed.

They made their way back to the Buzzfeed office. Shane looked over at Ryan from the doorway and then slowly made his way over. He sat down heavily in his chair and scooted right up to Ryan, “Look, I am sorry, okay? I am genuinely sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel…small. Or like I was making fun of you. I didn’t intend for it to come off that way.”

Without looking away from his computer screen Ryan said, “How did you intend it to come off?”

Shane had to be very careful with his wording here, “I wanted to tell you something…that I felt you deserved to know…and I didn’t know how to say it.”

Ryan slowly turned to him, “So you’re still not taking back what you said? About you being a demon?”

Shane looked at him searchingly. If he made Ryan angry again then he might not be able to fix it, but he couldn’t back out now, “No. I’m not taking it back.”

Ryan’s lips pressed into a thin line, “Okay. So, either you’re telling me the truth, or you have gone insane and you _think_ you’re telling the truth.”

Quietly Shane said, “Which option do you think is right?”

Ryan stared at him through narrowed eyes. He was clearly trying very hard to keep his breathing even as things ticked over in his mind. Shane didn’t dare move a muscle. Eventually, very slowly, Ryan said, “Honestly…at this point…I really don’t know,” Then, in a quieter voice, he murmured, “Can you prove it?

Shane glanced around the room, “Not here.”

He could feel the nerves that started to trickle back into Ryan’s energy. He swallowed nervously and said, “Where?”

Shane shrugged, “My place. Or yours.”

“Well I…I guess,” Ryan took a moment to really think about it, “I have Holy water at my place so if you _are_ an evil demon at least I'll have _some_ protection.”

“Ryan, I never said I was evil,” Shane sighed.

“That’s what an evil demon would say,” Ryan replied without hesitation.

Shane rolled his eyes, “All right, so your place?”

“Uh…yeah,” Ryan nodded, “Okay. I’m gonna put a salt circle around you though.”

“Yeah, fine,” Shane agreed, “Let’s go.”

Shane caught Sara’s eye as they were leaving and flashed her a thumbs up. The drive to Ryan’s apartment was completely silent. Fear was now vibrating out of Ryan’s body. Shane savoured the taste. He hadn’t tasted any proper fear since their last Unsolved shoot. When Ryan parked his car, Shane noticed his hands were shaking a little.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Fuck you. Yes,” Ryan said abruptly. His heart was practically beating out of his chest and he radiated adrenaline, “You know if this turns out to be some elaborate video for work, I’m gonna fucking…I’m never gonna forgive you.”

Shane nodded, “Well, I promise it’s not.”

Ryan’s voice was shaking now, “I don’t know if that makes me feel better or not.”

“It doesn’t,” Shane answered, “That’s pretty obvious.”

Ryan nodded jerkily, “All right, yeah, you’re right.” His hands were shaking so much as he approached the door that it took him a couple of goes to actually get the key into the lock.

“Are you gonna be all right?” Shane asked.

“ _Of course I’m not_ ,” Ryan hissed, “I’m fucking terrified, dude. You’re telling me you’re a demon? Oh Jesus, why did I do this? Oh God what have I done, you’re gonna fucking kill me.”

“Ryan, please,” Shane held up his hands and stepped inside, “If I was gonna kill you, I’d have done it already.”

“I…you…what?” Ryan stammered weakly. He staggered inside after Shane then lurched towards the kitchen, “You just wait in the living room. On the floorboards, not the rug. I’m going to surround you with salt.”

Shane sighed, “All right, come on, make it quick.”

“Don’t fucking rush me, asshole,” Ryan muttered as he hurried over to his pantry.

He circled salt around Shane three times, just to make sure there were no gaps. He dashed into his room to grab his bottle of Holy water and clutched it to his chest as he stood back against the wall. He was right by the door so that if anything went wrong, he might be able to make a run for it. Shane remained completely motionless as Ryan had been moving around and muttering nervously to himself. He didn't want to spook him because he didn't want Ryan to suddenly back out before he could reveal himself, especially now that he was in a salt circle. If Ryan ran out the door then he would be kinda screwed. When their eyes finally locked, Shane figured it was go time.

He took a deep breath and held up his hands as non-threateningly as possible, “I’m just gonna give you a quick rundown, okay? Of how this is gonna go, I mean. So...I have a demon form, and this is obviously not it. I’m going to change as slowly as possible because I don’t wanna just…I dunno…it seems better if I go slowly. You can tell me when you want me to take this form again,” he gestured to his lanky human body, “And I’ll go back right away. Do you have any questions before we do that?”

“Uh, y-yeah,” Ryan said haltingly. He was shaking all over and Shane could hear his heart beating a mile a minute, “Are you…have you always been…or did you possess Shane? I mean was Shane ever a real human?”

“No, I am genuinely Shane. There has never been a regular human named Shane Madej,” he said, and then with a small smile he added, “Well…there might be some others elsewhere in the world, but not this guy. I made him. He is me and I am he.”

“Stop fucking around. I don’t want fucking poems,” Ryan said quickly. His breath was coming in short, sharp pants, as if he had been running.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Shane straightened up a little, “Anything else?”

“Why are you here? If you’re a demon, why are you pretending to be a human?” Ryan asked.

Shane shrugged, “Curiosity. I didn’t understand you guys. I wanted to…I dunno…get amongst it.”

“Are you evil?” Ryan asked.

“Comin’ out with the big questions now,” Shane smirked.

“Shut up,” Ryan snapped, “Answer the fucking question.”

“No, I don’t think I’m evil,” Shane replied, “I play nice with all you humans because I genuinely like it here. I’m not here to cause chaos and destruction.”

Ryan took a shaky breath, “Yeah but you’d say that even if you _were_ evil.”

“Yeah well I didn’t really want to point out that flaw when I answered the question,” Shane shrugged and then held up three fingers, “Scout’s honour though. I’m a nice guy.”

Ryan looked at Shane carefully. He seemed to be trying to steady himself. Slowly he said, “What made you decide to tell me about this? Did you think I might have found out eventually anyway?”

“No,” Shane answered, “Honestly I don’t think you would ever have seriously considered it. I wanted you to know because I feel like you deserve to know.”

“Don’t you think this will affect the show though?” Ryan asked, “I mean that’s not exactly top of my concerns if you _are_ a demon, but…I dunno…” he trailed off.

Shane knew it wouldn’t because Ryan wouldn’t remember any of this, but for now he just shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“All right, fine,” Ryan whispered. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, “Let’s get this over with.”

“Okay, but just to warn you, my demon form is…big. Like a lot bigger than the sasquatch you already think I am,” Shane said, “I need you to be fully aware that I do genuinely look…terrifying and totally different to this body. It’s not like I just grow horns and a tail.”

“Do it before I back out,” Ryan squeaked.

Shane reached out with his mind and put up some invisible sound barriers just in case Ryan started screaming, and then, very slowly, he let the façade drop. Horns materialised on his forehead as his skin darkened to the green-grey colour. Ryan pressed himself into the wall as Shane got taller and wider, his fingers sharpening to points, and his feet flooding outwards into cloven hooves. His eyes turned black as he finally reached his full height. His hair grew longer as it turned past the point of normal-black and into the realm of black-hole-black. The most potent fear that Shane had ever felt was pouring out of Ryan. It was so good, but he still felt bad about it. Sort of.

When he had fully transformed, he remained motionless. He had wanted Ryan to make the first move, but looking down at the small man, he actually wasn’t sure if Ryan _could_ move. He glanced sideways and fiddled with his hands nervously, “Uh…ta-da.”

Ryan flinched at the unfamiliar, demonic voice. Shane’s shoulders sagged a little. He wasn’t sure how he had expected this to go, but he almost felt like it would be better if Ryan had started screaming or yelling because then there wouldn’t be this awkward silence. Not wanting to make any sudden moves, he carefully sat down on the floor cross-legged. Ryan tried to press himself further into the wall.

“Are you, um…should I go back now?” Shane asked. Still nothing from Ryan. In the blink of an eye he changed back into the human body of Shane Madej, “So, um…any other questions?”

Ryan finally opened his mouth. He looked dizzy and was still breathing hard. “Am I on drugs?” he sputtered out, “Am…am I high? Am I unconscious?”

“No, you’re definitely conscious and I don’t _think_ you’re on drugs, but then again I haven’t been with you all morning so, ya know…who knows,” Shane shrugged.

“But you were just…” he seemed lost for words.

“A demon?” Shane supplied, “Yeah that was kinda the point of this.”

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. His whole body was trembling, and he seemed to be talking to himself under his breath. When he lifted his head again, he refused to look at Shane, “I’m dreaming. I’m having a nightmare.”

“Ryan, you are not having a nightmare,” Shane said firmly, “Look I’m getting worried about you, are you okay?”

Ryan finally exploded, “Of _course_ I’m not okay!” He met Shane’s eye properly for the first time since they had entered his apartment, “I just watched my best friend turn into a fucking _demon_!”

Shane's face brightened a little as he smiled, “We’re best friends?”

Ryan blinked and then yelled, “Can you stay on track for _one_ fucking minute?”

“Right, sorry,” Shane said sheepishly.

Ryan’s hands fluttered up to his temples as he squeezed his eyes shut, “So…so…” He was clearly doing his best to clear his thoughts. Or at least sort them into ‘need-to-know’, ‘want-to-know’, and ‘never-want-to-think-about-this-again-oh-my-god-why’. His hands shook as he collected himself just enough to say, “So what are you? You’re a demon, what kind?”

“Uh, well…I guess I’m _the_ guy,” Shane said uncertainly. The slightest wrong move would likely send Ryan off the deep end.

“The…” Ryan echoed, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. He seemed unable to form words, but eventually managed to choke out, “Like…the Devil?”

“Um, for lack of a better term,” Shane murmured, then hurried to add, “But, wait, there’s a lot more to it than that. The Devil isn’t what people think it is. I’m not out to collect souls or…torture souls or whatever.”

“So, what do you do? If you’re the Devil but you don’t torture souls…what’s the purpose of the Devil?” Ryan shot at him.

“I watch over souls,” he told him, “Souls need to go through a…sort of like a cleansing process. It’s not really ‘Hell’, it’s more like a processing plant or a…a dry cleaner. Souls of the deceased come to us and hang around for however long it takes to clean themselves up and earn passage into the afterlife. If people have led good lives, they might be there for, like, the equivalent of a day. If they have been very bad people, it takes them a lot longer. We don’t torture them, they torture themselves.”

“What do you mean ‘they torture themselves’?” Ryan asked, a tremor creeping back into his voice.

Shane took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “Oh boy, how do I explain this,” he murmured. Finally, he looked back at Ryan, “Over a lifetime, souls absorb energy. If they do good things, they absorb light energy. If they do bad things, they absorb dark energy. Babies have the lightest souls, of course, because they are innocent creatures that have not been tainted. They go immediately to the afterlife. For people that have done bad things…their souls turn dark. How dark they get depends on how objectively bad they were. In order to progress to the afterlife, they need to reach a certain, uh…lightness-threshold, I guess.

“Souls stay with us for as long as it takes them to repent and wash themselves clean again. It’s torturous because the soul is fully bared. They are made to look back on everything they have done and all the suffering they have caused, and they experience that suffering in a very raw form. For people who have done _very_ bad things, it can take a very long time. There are souls that have been down there for centuries. It’s different for everyone, but they all have to face up to their wrongdoings. So, ya know, Hell is not a super dope place to be, but it’s not our _job_ to torture, and frankly I don’t _want_ to torture. I’m just a guardian,” Shane told him. He scratched his head a little, “I hope that made sense.”

Ryan slowly worked his way through what Shane had said. Finally, he asked, “Do you eat souls?”

“No, I don’t eat souls,” Shane replied.

Ryan paused, then said, “Is any of it true? Did we get anything right?”

Shane made a so-so motion, “Sort of. Not a lot. For one thing, there aren’t demons just gallivanting around in the mortal realm. Goatman isn’t real, the Sallie house doesn’t have a demon living in it, and there’s nothing creeping around the Bellaire house.”

“So, does any of it exist? Is any of it real?” Ryan asked.

“Well, spirits exist,” Shane shrugged, “We’ve encountered a whole bunch of spooks.”

Ryan nodded silently. Eventually he whispered, “I just…I…this is too much.” He was shaking and sweating, and his eyes were wider than Shane had ever seen them.

“I get it, it’s a lot,” Shane said softly.

Ryan’s head snapped up and Shane felt yet another surge of anger pulse out of him, “No, you _don’t_ get it! Are you fucking serious? How could you _possibly_ know how I’m feeling? Your entire existence is just one big lie!”

“I have never lied to you,” Shane murmured, feeling a little hurt by the accusation.

“Yes, you have!” Ryan exploded, “We’ve been investigating the paranormal for a couple of years now and the whole time you have lied and lied and _lied_ to me!”

“Ryan, you’ve never actually asked me if I’m a demon. And besides, it’s not exactly an easy conversation to have,” Shane argued, trying to keep his calm. Getting angry wouldn’t help matters. Plus, he knew that Ryan had a right to be upset.

“You couldn’t have figured out a way?” Ryan asked angrily.

Shane threw his hands in the air, “That’s what I’m trying to do now!”

Ryan looked sweaty and pale as he ran a hand through his hair, “I just…I can’t…I’m gonna be sick.” He lurched abruptly to his feet and ran down the hallway. Shane heard him retching for a minute and then there was silence. He tried to peer down the hallway, but the salt circle was really restricting him. He hated these stupid things. They made it difficult to read emotions further than a few metres, so Shane was almost totally in the dark.

As Ryan slowly approached the living room again, hints of sadness and fear slipped through the salt barrier. When Ryan finally appeared, it was clear that he had been crying. Shane didn’t like that. He watched as Ryan warily skirted around the edges of the room, staying as far away from Shane as possible. He settled himself down on the couch, clutching his bottle of Holy water.

Hesitantly Shane said, “Are you okay?”

“Just…don’t,” Ryan said icily, but then took a deep breath, “I mean…I’m just…trying to process.”

Shane nodded, “Okay.”

Ryan slowly brought his eyes up to meet Shane’s and for several moments he just stared at him. Shane shifted uneasily and eventually looked away. He figured that if he showed some vulnerability it might help Ryan feel more comfortable.

Very quietly Ryan said, “The salt circle. That works, then?”

Shane nodded, “More or less. I mean…salt doesn’t burn me or anything. Like, I can eat salty foods. But an unbroken line of it does sort of trap me in.” He held up a hand and pressed out to the edge of the salt circle. The invisible barrier bulged out a little, but otherwise kept him contained.

“But when you turned into the…the…” Ryan waved his hands around gesturing to Shane, “Your body was outside the circle.”

“Well,” Shane bit his lip, fully aware that he needed to proceed with caution, “When I’m in my…other form, I have more power. I can stretch things a little further. I guess I could break out if I really wanted, but I don’t really want to, so I’m not gonna do that.”

Ryan’s face paled again, but he nodded, “Okay.” Looking down at his hands, he seemed to only just notice the bottle of Holy water there. He held it up with one shaking hand, “What about this? Does this affect you?”

Shane looked at it and sighed, “Well…no, it’s just…I mean it’s just water.”

“So…technically you can get out of there,” he pointed to the salt circle. Shane could sense him getting worked up again, “And this water doesn’t even do anything.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Shane said softly.

Ryan suddenly choked on his own breath, “Oh fu…” It sounded like he was going to faint, “Jesus Christ…oh my God, no, no, no, no, fuck.” He eventually lost the ability to speak and just let out a sound halfway between a gurgle and a gasp.

And then he actually did faint.

Shane looked down at him unhappily, “Damn.”


	6. I'm Not An Asshole, Ryan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.

Unable to go over and help, Shane just sat in the circle with his arms wrapped around his knees and his chin resting on his arms. It didn’t take very long for Ryan to stir. His eyes cracked open and he groggily turned his head, “Wha…” then he caught sight of Shane and let out a yelp, before scrambling over the top of the lounge and falling with a thump on the other side.

“Uh, Ryan,” Shane said tentatively, “I’m not gonna hurt you, buddy.”

For a moment Shane was worried that Ryan had fainted again, but then his head poked up very slowly from behind the couch. There was already a large egg swelling on his forehead just below his hairline. Ryan just stared and Shane raised his eyebrows questioningly. Sounding like he had run a marathon, Ryan breathlessly said, “All right…fine…I mean if you’re gonna kill me there’s not really anything I can do about it anyway.”

“Do you…I mean you still look very pale. Do you need a drink?” Shane asked.

“Yeah I need a very strong drink,” Ryan muttered, “But no, I’m fine here. I…I don’t need any water.” Then he held up the bottle of Holy water and in an acid tone he said, “I guess I can just drink this anyway since apparently it’s ‘just water’.”

Once again, an uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Shane stared at his hands, not sure what else to do. If he stared at Ryan, the poor guy probably wouldn’t handle it very well. Fear was still spilling out of him, but certainly not as strongly as before. He almost seemed to be settling into some kind of shock. Hopefully that meant he wasn’t going to faint again. Shane wasn’t a fan of that. He didn’t know much first aid.

Ryan brought his hands to his head again like he was trying to literally stop the thoughts from spinning through it. His eyes were clenched shut as he said, “So, okay. You’re a demon -”

“Yeah.”

“- the Devil, in fact -”

“That’s me.”

“- and you’re living a human life out of curiosity -”

“Correct.”

“- but you’re not evil -”

“Not even a little bit.”

“- and is that ‘not evil’ by your standards or ‘not evil’ by _my_ standards?”

“Well I don’t know, what are your standards?” Shane asked casually, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

“I guess…well you don’t eat souls, but do you…I dunno…feed off them at all?” Ryan asked.

Shane took a deep breath, considering how best to answer the question, “I…absorb negative emotions and they do sustain me, _but_ ,” he said, anticipating Ryan’s interruption, “I don’t make people feel bad emotions and I’m not, like…feasting on their life force or anything. There aren’t really bad consequences for people, it’s just that I get sustenance from it.”

“That seems like a deal that’s too good to be true,” Ryan frowned, “I mean like you can feed on people’s negative emotions with no detriment to the person?”

“I mean…they do still have to _feel_ the emotion, so it’s not a total walk in the park,” Shane said, “Keep in mind that where I’m from, the place is built on suffering in general. I don’t like _making_ people feel bad, but I don’t dislike it when they do.”

Ryan frowned, “Okay, well that’s kinda shitty, but I guess it’s the best I can really ask for from the Devil.” Ryan glanced down at his hands momentarily, and then looked up to Shane again with a bit of a hurt look on his face, “Every shoot we’ve been on though…you’ve enjoyed my fear?”

“Well, yeah,” Shane admitted, running a hand through his hair, “But I have also tried to make you feel better when we do those. Sometimes I try to make you feel _less_ scared”

Warily, Ryan replied, “I guess so.”

“Besides, you would be equally as scared even if I was just the regular guy you thought I was,” Shane said, “Not really much of a difference, is there?”

Ryan narrowed his eyes a little as he sighed. After a beat he said, “Well what about Sara? Is that…I don’t know…a fake relationship?”

Shane was unable to stifle the small laugh, “Well, actually, Sara is, uh…she’s my Queen.”

“Your queen, like…you actually do love her?” Ryan asked weakly.

“No, like…genuinely my Queen,” Shane said, “I am King of the Underworld and she is Queen.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped before he nervously stuttered, “She, uh…she’s a demon too?”

“Yeah,” Shane chuckled.

Unexpectedly, Ryan threw his hands up in frustration, “Who the fuck _else_ is a demon? Is Buzzfeed just entirely staffed by demons? Am I the only regular guy?”

Shane laughed again, “Ryan, there are no other demons working at Buzzfeed. And for the record, you’re not a regular guy, you’re a weirdo.”

“Asshole,” Ryan scowled, “Okay, so does Sara look like you?”

“Sort of,” Shane said, “She certainly looks more like a demon than her short, curly-haired human body suggests. She’s more, uh…red, I guess. She’s also much sleeker and more elegant than I am.”

Ryan’s wide eyes were back as he tried to cram more revelations into his head, “This is…I mean…I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Shane nodded, “Uh, please don’t though. I don’t know CPR.”

“You’re the Devil,” Ryan narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “As if you would save my life.”

“Of course I’d save your life,” Shane frowned, “Or at least I’d try to. I’m a demon, not an asshole.”

Ryan's brows knitted together as he tried to make sense of everything he had been told. While he waited, Shane glanced over his shoulder to the glass door that led out to Ryan's balcony. It was a beautiful day out there. It was strange that Ryan was sitting here questioning his entire existence and everything he thought he knew while the rest of the world went on as normal. No one out there knew what he knew. Ryan was the only person in the whole world with this information. What an odd thing, Shane mused. He only turned his head back when he heard Ryan open his mouth to speak.

“Okay, I’m really gonna need you to explain this again,” Ryan said, looking at Shane with a bit more curiosity now, “You claim that despite being the actual Devil, you’re not evil. Tell me about that again.”

“Uh, okay. Despite being the actual Devil, I’m not evil,” Shane repeated obediently. He actually was having a bit of fun with this now.

Ryan bristled a little. He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a slow breath, “I’m gonna need you to take this a bit more seriously because I am _this close -_ ” he pinched his thumb and forefinger together, _“-_ to losing my goddamn mind.”

“Ryan I’m not really sure what you want me to say,” Shane sighed, “Try asking some more specific questions and I’ll do my best to answer them.”

Ryan’s lips pressed together in a hard, thin line, then he said, “Fine.”

Shane held his hands out invitingly, “So what would you like to know?”

Ryan took a moment to gather his thoughts, “You said you feed on negative energy,” Shane nodded, “What does that mean exactly?”

“Basically, when someone is feeling sad or mad or bad, I can soak up that energy and it sustains me,” Shane told him.

“But you said you don’t _make_ people feel bad, right? Or worse?” Ryan asked slowly.

“I don’t need to. The world is a shitty, shitty place, Ryan. Everyone knows that. People are stressed and angry all the time,” Shane said. He could feel that Ryan was slowly becoming more comfortable with the situation. Whether that was due to actually overcoming the fear or just being in shock, Shane couldn’t say.

“That’s a fair assessment, I guess,” Ryan mumbled, “Well if that sustains you then does that mean you don’t need to eat or drink?”

“No, I don’t,” Shane said.

“But I’ve seen you eat,” Ryan frowned, “A lot.”

Shane looked at him seriously, “Ryan, I cannot overstate how delicious pie is. You think I can resist something like that? Come on.” Then he held his hands up in a semi-shrug, “Plus, it would be pretty fucking suspicious if no one ever saw me or Sara eat.”

They lapsed into silence again, but this time it seemed like Ryan couldn’t look away from him. Shane shifted uneasily as brown eyes roamed over and studied him. Eventually Ryan pulled himself to his feet using the back of the couch and started to skirt around the edges of the room. Despite having been told the Holy water did nothing, he clutched the bottle like some kind of lifeline. He circled around Shane three times.

Taking a deep breath, he finally perched himself on the edge of the couch furthest from Shane, “You said we’ve encountered some spirits. Where?”

Shane shrugged, “Lots of places. Rolling Hills, Waverley, Hannah’s house.”

Ryan took a moment to digest this, “What about Sorrel-Weed? I saw a full body apparition.”

Shane nodded, “Yeah. You did.” He remembered that encounter very well. The goddamn thing had wanted to come over for a chat until Shane sent a tendril out to chase him away.

Ryan’s eyes bugged out, “I-I…I did? I really did?”

“Yeah,” Shane replied, “I’m just glad you barely caught anything on camera. I honestly didn’t mean to block it, but it certainly worked out well for me.”

Ryan’s brow furrowed as he fell back into deep thought. Shane assumed he was running through all their escapades, trying to pinpoint anything from any of the locations to ask Shane about. Despite his relatively calm demeanour, Shane could still feel the fear rolling off him in waves. He supposed that the curiosity was just enough to keep his mind off it. Or perhaps it was a subconscious self-preservation mechanism where his brain tried desperately to keep the fear squashed down so he didn’t go insane. Either way he was glad that Ryan was talking now. He had taken things a lot better than Shane had been expecting.

“Why don’t they speak to you?” Ryan asked softly, “You never pick up anything on your footage or microphones. Why?”

Shane sighed, “They’re usually pretty afraid of me. They know what I am; they can sense it. That’s come in handy for you a few times though, let me tell you.”

Ryan’s expression flickered for a moment and Shane felt the bolt of fear that shot through him, “Malevolent spirits? S-Something has tried to…hurt me?”

Shaking his head a little, Shane replied, “No, they didn’t go near you. But if I hadn’t been there, some of them would have. For example, Eastern State was full of spooks, mostly benign, some even friendly, but there were a couple of very dark entities. I don’t think they would have been able to do much except maybe give you a few scratches, but I made sure they stayed well away.”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, “You were protecting me?”

“Yeah, Ryan,” Shane said exasperatedly, “I keep telling you; I’m a demon, not an asshole. I care about you. You’re my friend.”

“Is there any way for you to prove that?” Ryan asked.

“Haven’t I _been_ proving that? We’ve known each other for years! Hell, we’ve been doing this show for a couple years now. I’ve _never_ tried to harm you or other people, and I sure as shit don’t want to,” Shane held up his hands, “I don’t know what else I can do at this point. I mean…what did you think of me before this? What kind of person was I in your eyes?”

Ryan sighed, “I guess…a tall, annoying asshole, but…generally a good guy. Someone you could rely on. A…good friend.”

“So aside from now knowing what I really am, what’s changed?” Shane asked, “I’m still that guy. I’ve been that guy for over a decade now. I want to live a normal life. I like it here. I want to stay here for at least a full human life. There’s so much I haven’t done.”

Ryan took a moment to think and then slowly said, “I want to believe you. I really…really want to believe you. It’s just very difficult to do that because I’ve spent so long believing in and fearing the supernatural, _especially_ demons. If you’re telling the truth…there’s a lot I have to undo.”

“I understand,” Shane nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Ryan looked at Shane searchingly, “Why did you tell me like this?”

Shane thought about the question for a moment. “Well,” he started, “I guess I thought it would soften the blow if you figured it out yourself. I knew that there was no way you would do that without a little nudge from me. If I started joking about it more, I figured you would just brush it off like you always do. I thought that maybe if I told you seriously and then left it, you still might not quite believe me, but it would plant a little seed of doubt. I was kind of right about that, but I certainly didn’t intend for it to come off like I was making fun of you or anything like that.”

“I was scared,” Ryan murmured, “I was scared that you might be telling the truth and I didn’t know what that would have meant.”

“That’s what Sara said,” Shane replied, “She’s better at reading emotions that I am. I just got angry because I didn’t know why _you_ were angry. I’m still learning about human emotions. Sometimes they don’t make sense to me because from a completely objective point of view they don’t seem to follow any logic. I thought that you would start to think that maybe I was telling the truth and the result would be a mix of fear and confusion. Anger didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t know how to fix it.”

Ryan just stared at him, but then eventually he nodded once, “Okay. I guess that makes sense.”

It seemed like they had both run out of things to say for now; or at least didn’t know how to verbalise their thoughts. Shane dropped his gaze to his lap. He knew what would come soon enough, but he wanted to put it off for as long as possible. Making Ryan forget about this was necessary, but he didn’t feel good about it. Maybe this whole thing had been a bad idea after all. Sure, things would go on as normal for Ryan, but Shane would remember. Would he be able to maintain their playful banter when he knew that Ryan had once known his deepest secret and had actually handled it pretty well? Perhaps this _would_ change things.

Unfortunately, what had been done had already been done. It was too late to take it back now. He lifted his head, “Ryan…do you think…do you think you could let me out of here?” He gestured down to the salt circle.

Ryan glanced down at it uneasily and then moved to stand up, but stopped himself, “No, I…I’d rather not.”

“Oh,” Shane said glumly. That might make things difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks. I am so sorry to anyone that has been waiting for the end of this story (I know there probably aren't many of you, but please indulge me haha). I have been very sick lately with epilepsy complications and I was focusing all my energy on that so, to be honest, this completely slipped my mind. But I am back with this chapter and will post the final chapter probably on the weekend.
> 
> Hope everyone is staying well!


	7. Letting Him Loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end, and I've had an incredible ride. I just want to make sure it ends on the right note.

“Are you ever going to let me out?” Shane asked, eyebrows raised.

Ryan shifted uncomfortably, “I-I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Shane echoed with a frown, “You can’t just keep me here forever, Ryan. At some point people are gonna start wondering where I am.”

“Why don’t you just break yourself out?” Ryan jutted out his chin stubbornly.

Sighing, Shane said, “Look, dude, I want to avoid that at all costs.”

“Why?” Ryan asked warily.

Hearing that simple one-word question in such a suspicious tone of voice made Shane choke on his own breath. Eventually he sputtered out, “What do you mean ‘why’? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying really, _really_ hard not to freak you out. Open up your earholes, Bergara, because I’m going to say this loud and clear; _I do not want to hurt you_.” He stared for a moment and then softened again, “You’re my best friend. I’m doing this because I just…I wanted you to know.”

“But I still don’t understand _why_ ,” Ryan murmured.

Shane’s shoulders sagged a little, “I…don’t know. Maybe…maybe I’m just being selfish. This is hard, okay? Feelings and emotions are still difficult for me. All I know for sure is that you’re my friend and I love you and I just…thought you should know.” Quite unexpectedly, a small smirk slipped onto Ryan’s face. A puzzled look from Shane quickly turned into a scowl, “What? What is it? I thought we were having a nice moment and I was being vulnerable, but you’re just yucking it up over there. What did I do?”

Ryan let out a slight wheeze, “You love me?”

Shane actually blushed. He didn’t know he could do that, but apparently he could, “What?” he asked defensively, “Did I do it wrong? Stop laughing at me. Hey, come on, cut it out. Ryan! Stop laughing at me! Hey, fuck you, okay?” Ryan’s shoulders were shaking now. Shane threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “This is unbelievable! Ryan, come on. Ryan!” Shane scowled as Ryan continued to laugh. The salt circle was keeping him from going over to punch Ryan’s shoulder, so instead he quickly took off his shoe and chucked it at him.

“Hey!” Ryan exclaimed, but he was still smiling, “Stay in your circle.”

“I _am_ in my circle! My shoes are allowed to leave, aren’t they?” Shane shot back, also smirking now, “I don’t wear two tiny demons on my feet.”

Perhaps it was the absurdity of the situation mixed with Ryan’s brain trying to come to terms with this, but soon both of them were laughing. Ryan had actually settled back onto the couch now and Shane’s posture was a little more relaxed. As the laughter trailed off, Shane muttered a good-natured, “Stupid humans and their stupid emotions. Hey, okay, look, was I not supposed to say I loved you? Don’t friends say that? Help me out here.”

Ryan shrugged, “No, I mean, you can say it. It was very nice of you to say. I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. You’ve never said it to me before, so it was kind of weird to hear it right after you revealed to me that you’re a demon.” He reached up to scratch the back of his head as his face turned a little more serious, “You…you meant it though? I mean…we genuinely are good friends? It’s not just an act?”

“It’s not an act,” Shane said simply, “I promise.”

They lapsed into silence again, but this time it wasn’t quite as awkward. Occasionally they would glance at each other as they both tried to think of something to say. Eventually Ryan opened his mouth and, a little haltingly, said, “So…what…do we do now? What happens next?”

Shane had really been hoping he wouldn’t ask that just yet. It would have been much easier if Ryan had already let him out of the circle. He couldn’t do what he needed to do when he was trapped in this salt prison. He raised his eyebrows, “Well, you could let me out of the circle…if you want.”

Ryan stiffened a little, but slowly rocked forwards to lean towards Shane with his elbows resting on his knees, “Yeah, I…I guess I could.”

When Ryan made no move to get up, Shane murmured, “So will you?”

After what felt like an age, Ryan finally pushed himself to his feet and warily stepped closer, “If I let you out of here and you kill me, I swear to God…”

“What? You’ll kill me?” Shane smirked and Ryan scowled.

“Do you want me to let you out, or not? Because I’m happy to just leave you there for a bit,” Ryan threatened, though there wasn’t much distrust underlying his words anymore.

“If you leave me in here, I’m just going to start loudly workshopping the next season of the Hot Daga,” Shane said with a wry smile.

Ryan let out a noise of disgust, “Honestly, I’d rather die.” The closer he stepped, the more Shane could feel the nervous, fearful energy radiating out from him. It was nowhere near the levels it had been just five minutes ago. He looked down as Ryan reached out with one foot to toe a small gap into the line of salt and then rapidly retreated.

Shane let out an actual sigh of relief as his senses returned to him and he felt a little more energised. It felt like getting his first breath of fresh air after being underwater just a bit too long. He lurched to his feet and stepped out of the circle, “Thank you. Fuck. That feels better.” When Ryan didn’t say anything, Shane looked up and saw that he was back cowering in the corner, “Dude, I’m not gonna hurt you. Didn’t we just establish that?”

Ryan swallowed nervously, “Well…that was before I let a demon loose in my house.”

“Come on, Ryan, that hurts. ‘A demon’? I thought we were past that,” Shane frowned.

“Yeah, well…I guess not,” Ryan said, fear starting to emanate out from him a little stronger now.

Shane sighed in exasperation, “Ryan, come on man. Do you want me to go? I can go home if you want.”

“I…” Ryan paused as he considered this, “No. No, you should stay. I think.”

“Thank you,” Shane replied. He slowly moved over to the couch and sat at the far end, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. Ryan mirrored him, sitting on the opposite end. “Uh…do you have any other questions for me?”

Ryan spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully, “You said you watch over souls,” he paused and Shane nodded, “So you can see souls…does that mean…can you see the souls of the living?”

“When I use my true sight, yes,” Shane replied.

“So, you can see my soul?” Ryan asked.

“Yup,” Shane said, popping the ‘p’ with his lips, “Can’t miss it.”

Ryan sat forward curiously, “What do you mean? Why?”

“Ryan, your soul is like a goddamn neon sign. Remember when I tried to nickname you Vegas and it didn’t catch on because you had no idea where it came from and people thought I was maybe drunk or high when I came up with it because it wasn’t funny at all? Well, now you know why,” Shane said, smirking a little at the memory, “I realise now, in hindsight, that it makes perfect sense that no one would get the joke. Still, I think you should reconsider. You’d make a good Vegas.”

“That’s…” Ryan started.

Then simultaneously they said, “-genius?” “-so dumb.”

“Oh,” Shane said with a frown, “Well that’s fine, we can table that for now.”

“Whatever,” Ryan waved him off, “So, why is my soul so…neon?”

Shane shrugged, “Some people are just like that.”

“Is it because I’m a good person? Like…have I absorbed a lot of light energy?” Ryan asked.

“Ehhh,” Shane made a so-so motion, “Kinda. I mean, for sure you’re a great guy. If you died tomorrow you definitely wouldn’t spend much time down with us, which, you know…good for you, but I’d be kinda bummed.”

“Why?” Ryan frowned.

Shane let out a sad sigh before softly saying, “Once you’re gone…you’re gone. When you go to the afterlife, I can’t go with you. Anyone Sara and I make friends with in this life and come to love…we know eventually we’ll have to lose them.”

Ryan was a little more subdued as he quietly said, “Why put yourselves through that?”

Shane shrugged and gave a small, mirthless smile, “It’s part of being human, isn’t it? Losing people? Never thought I’d care about that, but it turns out…I do. A lot. I don’t want to lose you, Ryan. I really, really don’t. I don’t want to lose my family. My other friends.” He felt something on his face. When he reached up and found it to be wet, he was momentarily confused, but then he realised, “Oh. Look at that. I can cry.”

Ryan looked a little choked up himself as he said, “You’ve never cried?”

Shane shook his head, “Guess I’ve never been sad enough.”

“Shane,” Ryan’s voice was very small, “What do you think we’re going to do after this? I mean this…this is going to change a lot of things whether we like it or not.”

Shane smiled knowingly, but it was tinged with sadness, “Oh,” he mused, “I don’t think so.”

Ryan balked a little, “Of course it will. How could it not?”

It was time. Shane sighed, “I’m sorry, Ryan.”

Ryan shrank back, “A-are you going to kill me?”

“No,” Shane murmured, “But you can’t remember this.”

Brows furrowing in confusion, Ryan started to murmur, “What do you…” as the cogs turned in Ryan’s mind and the pieces started to fall into place, a furious look splashed across his features, “You’re going to…what… _erase_ my memory?”

“I have to,” Shane sighed heavily.

“Why tell me at all then?” Ryan exploded. Shane was glad the sound barriers were still up, “Why tell me all this when you knew you would be making me forget anyway? Was it so you could drink in my fear? You…you _are_ a monster!”

That felt like a punch to the gut.

“I thought you deserved to know,” Shane said feebly.

“No,” Ryan argued, “If you thought I deserved to know then you wouldn’t have planned right from the beginning to manipulate the _functioning of my brain_ out of sheer _convenience_!”

The drumbeat of Ryan’s heart was so loud in Shane’s ears as took a second to really think about why he had done this. He had told himself many times that it was because Ryan deserved to know, but…Ryan was right. If that was the real reason, he wouldn’t need to take the memory away. If he thought Ryan genuinely deserved to know then the whole point would be for him to actually _know_ it. So that wasn’t it. Was it because he needed to get it off his chest, however briefly? Just for his own sanity? That couldn’t be it either. He didn’t have the emotional capacity for that yet.

“Ryan,” Shane pleaded, tears starting to well in his eyes again, “I promise you; it wasn’t like that. I didn’t want your fear, I just…I was being…selfish. I was…”

Oh.

Oh no.

Everything suddenly clicked into place and a small voice in his head said, _‘Nope, don’t like that.’_

Various things that he had thought and said over the past few days were suddenly whirling through his mind and they made him feel sick.

_‘…just to see what would happen’_

_“…kind of like the slow burn”_

_‘…actually having a bit of fun with this now’_

It was a game. It was just a game. He hadn’t been doing it on purpose, but it was clear to him now that this hadn’t been about Ryan. It hadn’t been about showing him he was right; Shane had just tricked himself into thinking that, and that was a bad thing. He had done a very bad thing. Was this why souls became black? Shane was either much further away from getting into the human mind than he had thought, or he was already inside it, lying to himself and deceiving himself in that illogical way humans had perfected. He wasn’t sure which it was, and he didn’t know which one he would prefer.

How could he have done this to his friend? His closest friend. His Ryan. Friends weren’t meant to treat each other this way. His eyes became blurry with tears again and he blinked them away.

His mouth suddenly feeling quite dry, he murmured, “I told you because I just…I just wanted to see what would happen, I guess.”

“That’s a _terrible_ reason!” Ryan shouted angrily, “You made me…you made me feel _so_ awful! So terrified! I thought I was going to _die_ and you didn’t even care! I was just a little science experiment to you! Do you understand that? Can you get that through your demonic skull?”

“I did care. I do care,” Shane said in a low, pained voice, “Please forgive me.” He raised a hand as Ryan started to scramble away, yelling out for help the whole time. Shane’s whole body was aching with sadness. Erasing memories was so easy, so why did this feel like the hardest thing he had ever had to do? He blinked the tears away from his now-black eyes as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Ryan. Truly, I am.”

Then it was all over.

And life went on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, you guys, I am so sorry for taking so long posting this final chapter. I've still been having chronic health issues but I'm doing a lot better now. I hope everyone is staying well and I am sending good vibes out to anyone that is struggling (I only wish I could do more!)


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